A RIP IN THE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM

Couldn't help myself for being an average dude who pays attention to such things. Two seemingly unconnected stories today could cause the political heads to spin, so to spare them the chance of casting us all in a worm-hole of mixed-up logic, I'll explain...

1. LAWMAKERS PUSH PUBLIC SMOKING BAN - an article that suggests Iowa needs to ban smoking in virtually every public place...bars, restaurants, every workplace, even outdoors in public. The only area where smoking would be permitted would be private homes. I guess even smoking outside in your yard would be problematic, so don't even think about bringing that cigarette outside.

IRONIC TWIST #1: By banning it in all public places, they are forcing smokers to conduct their habit ONLY in the privacy of their own homes. So harm your own kids...and smell up your own home. Just don't do it in your own backyard.

IRONIC TWIST #2: Governor Vilsack also wants to increase taxes on cigarettes in order to pay for a new health care program for workers in small businesses. An 80-cent increase. In order to maintain the revenue that would be needed to keep the program running, you need people to smoke. It would seem to be not a good idea to begin limiting (by a huge first step) the areas in which smokers can light up.

2. LAWMAKERS CONCERNED ABOUT VIDEO LOTTERY MACHINES - I won't bother you with the number of articles, but many seem to be worried about the new TouchPlay games available pretty much everywhere...including the one I saw in the lobby of a Chinese Buffet. Governor Vilsack has implemented a 60-day moritorium on the placement of any new machines. Meanwhile, Rekha Basu (Des Moines Register columnist) likens them to a drug and the state of Iowa a pusher.

IRONIC TWIST #1: Rekha happens to be in favor of raising the cigarette tax to pay for new health care programs...why the objection to raising the number of places people can gamble?

IRONIC TWIST #2: Rekha uses terms like "pusher" and "narcotized" in describing the good guys and bad guys of the debate.

Careful now, your head is about to explode. In her column today, she says...

"The state expects to make $30 million on TouchPlay machines this year. But who are policymakers kidding when they claim this isn't a problem? They're just as addicted and just as much in denial as the problem gamblers: addicted to the gambling revenue, in denial about the lives damaged."

Remember - she's in favor of raising the cig tax by as much as a dollar per pack. The increased cost would help more people decide to quit. I don't personally have a problem with that...whatever works. Now, prepare yourself...her final two paragraphs:

"...the paradox of a government, which is supposed to protect its citizens, feeding off some people's destitution. We don't let dope pushers off the hook just because their customers failed to show restraint. So why is it different when the pusher is state government?"

IRONIC SOLUTION! Raise taxes on lottery machines...lottery tickets...and the "take" from video machines. Less winners...less players.

Don't kid yourself...you CAN raise taxes on a thing like lottery tickets. I bet you didn't even know there was a sales tax on lottery tickets, did you?